


The Order and the Atom

by FanGirlyGlee



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 15:19:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13860468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanGirlyGlee/pseuds/FanGirlyGlee
Summary: The Legends get the job done, and the only thing damaged is Ray's dignity.





	The Order and the Atom

The Waverider was safely cloaked at edge of the gardens of the unassuming country house that was the site of a Level four aberration.  As the sun dipped low on the horizon, Sara Lance broke radio silence to check in with her team. “What’s the situation, Martin?”  She waited thirty seconds, drumming her fingers on the table monitor before trying again.  “Martin?”  At last she received a response.

“The situation has become… complicated,” Dr. Stein informed his captain.

“Can you elaborate?  Were we wrong about using Ray to get into Browder’s group?”

“No, Raymond’s resemblance to Browder’s deceased brother was indeed sufficient.  He was enthusiastically welcomed by Browder and the others, and at first it seemed that his arrival was considered a favorable sign. “ 

Sara smiled and cast a glance over her shoulder to catch Nate doing a happy dance to celebrate the success of his plan.  “So what’s the problem?” she asked.

Stein spoke in a hurried tone.  “We may have misjudged the level of affection Mr. Browder had for his departed sibling.  Moments ago, Raymond was spirited away in preparation for some dark ritual in which he is to play a vital part. All this mumbo jumbo makes me very uncomfortable.”

Jax butted in on the coms to offer reassurance. “Stay calm, Grey.  Remember these guys can’t actually do any magic.”

“Yet,” Sara interjected.  “That’s why we need to get that artifact out of their hands.  Do you know where it is?”

“Yes, it’s in the ballroom with Browder,” Amaya said. “They’re setting up for something fairly elaborate.  There’s an altar, and I heard people talking about Ray being _prepared_.  Everyone’s putting on robes and they seem very excited.”

Sarah looked to Nate. “I thought this was a tame group.” 

Nate shrugged.  “Not much is known about the Order of Osiris.  None of their ritual books survived to the present day.  We were lucky to find that picture of Browder and his brother.  In general these types of occult groups were more into drugs and sex magick than human sacrifice.”

“Ohhh,” Amaya said, drawing out her response.   Martin coughed several times.

“What?” Sara prompted.

“Well,” Martin said sounding sheepish.  “As you’ll recall, Nate proposed that we present Raymond as somewhat…simple so as not to invite too many questions regarding his life to this point. We wanted Browder to view Raymond as a blank slate; his brother’s spirit reborn into a new vessel.  It also relieved Raymond of the need to talk too much.  In the process, recounting our discovery of Browder’s brother in a monastery, we may have implied that Raymond is a virgin.”

From the back of the room, Mick cracked open his first beer and announced,  “Haircut can sell that."

Jax wore a puzzled expression.  “Isn’t everyone in that group like 80?” he inquired aloud.

Sarah sighed.  “It sounds like time to step in.  Hold tight, Martin.  You and Amaya keep an eye on Ray.  The cavalry’s coming.”

xxxxxxxxxx

Dr. Stein managed to break away from the impending festivities long enough to let the rest of the Legends in the front door.  Sara started giving orders.  “Amaya, I need you to motivate the cultists to leave the house.  Martin, you herd them toward the gardens.  Jax, you sweep all floors for stragglers.  Nate, grab Ray.  I’ll get the artifact.” 

Mick grunted.  “Why am I here again, boss?” 

Sarah grinned with a devilish look in her eye.  “I see you were paying as much attention to the briefing as usual, Mick.  According to the history books this house burns down tonight.” 

Mick Rory’s face lit up like it was Christmas morning.  “What are we waiting for? Let’s get this party started.”

Fortunately the sight of a spectral bear and a metal man was sufficiently frightening to cause the ten cultists and their confused leader to bolt for the front door.  Martin corralled them out into the garden while Sarah recovered the artifact and handed it off to Jax.    Amaya's totem produced a few extra roars that were enough to cause the cultists to flee in their cars.  A few minutes later, Nate emerged carrying a robed and obviously drugged Ray Palmer.  Standing on the front steps of the house Sara waved them through and kept an eye out for stragglers.   “Where’s Rory?” she asked, noting the smoke billowing from the 2nd floor windows.  “Jax, the house is clear?”

“Everyone’s out,” he confirmed. 

Moments later the team’s fire starter emerged with a bundle made from a curtain slung over his shoulder.  Mick’s smile was almost as bright as the flames coming from his heat gun.

xxxxx

Safely aboard the Waverider, Sarah stowed the artifact and confirmed the anachronism had been resolved before checking on Ray in the med bay.  He was wearing a satiny looking toga and a broader smile than usual.  “How’s he doing, Gideon?”

The cheery AI popped up.  “Doctor Palmer’s blood sample indicates that he has ingested a cocktail of botanicals that are ultimately harmless.  It would be best if his body processes it on its own.” 

“What’s on his skin?” Sarah asked, noticing the sheen on Ray’s bare arms and legs. 

“Olive oil.” 

“Are you sure they weren’t gonna eat him?”  Mick re-emerged, apparently having set aside whatever swag he made off with, with the exception of a golden torque encircling his bald head. 

Helping Ray to his feet, Nate and Mick each took a side and helped their teammate down the corridor to his room.  “Hey guys,” Ray piped up. “Can we stop at the bathroom?”

“If you’re gonna puke, you better not get any on me,” Mick warned.  “I already did laundry this month.”

Ray giggled.  “Noo, but I think I need a shower.  I feel really greasy.   Places that are not normally slippery _are_.”

Mick dropped Ray’s arm. “I’m out.” 

“Oh, c’mon!” Nate protested as Ray fell over and pushed him into the wall. 

xxxxxxxxxx

The next morning a hungover Ray sipped his coffee very slowly, periodically trying to open his eyes fully and finding it just too stressful.   Nate and Jax were enjoying their respective breakfasts and Mick was looking over a selection of sugar-laden dough, the sight of which made Ray queasy. 

Ray had already apologized profusely for falling on Nate multiple times as the latter had maneuvered him into the shower where he had spent the better part of an hour before recovering enough to make it to his own bedroom.  

Jax flashed Nate a look and grinned.  “So, Ray, I was thinking about giving our latest adventure a title.  Which do you like the sound of better: Atom Orgy or Ray Palmer’s Geriatric Gangbang?” 

Ray’s ears turned pink.  The guys laughed like hyenas and Mick banged his fist on the table trying not to choke on a doughnut.   Ray smiled behind his mug.  “Both sound like candidates for the discount bin at the adult store,” he surmised.   Mick smacked him on the back and handed him a gluten free muffin.  

“Worst Brazzers category ever,” he agreed. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> My first AO3 post and my first Legends fic. I love feedback. Let me know what you think. Please forgive any errors in formatting. I will make adjustments as necessary.


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